Gynecologist Commits To Getting More Hands-On in 2019

As the new year begins, many people are making resolutions to ensure 2019 is their best year yet, and that’s no different for our local medical professionals. Doctor Heisenberg Gropenstein has been working as an OB-GYN for the last 26 years, but this year, he has committed to getting more hands-on in his day to day practice.

“I just really want to get all up in there,” said Gropenstein, as he cracked his knuckles, “my patients deserve that.”

Reviews left on Gropenstein’s Yelp page describe his practice as “informal,” “friendly,” “thorough,” and “tactile.” One reviewer said, quote, “I’m leaving him 5 stars which is three more stars than I would give my husband.”

Though Gropenstein’s methods are still considered experimental, he’s received a substantial surge in new patients since publicizing his new hands-on approach.

“My goal is to make sure women feel healthy and strong,” Gropenstein concluded. “If I’m doing my job right, they should feel that, and have just a bit of trouble walking the next day.”

Ash Strayer

Funny, in spite of ovaries.

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