Pony Bar More Open Than Ever As Eight Inches Arrive In Seattle

The Pony is among the few Seattle bars on Capital Hill to remain open in spite of a prolific state-wide snow storm. Undeterred by the snowfall, Pony club goers actually seemed quite excited to about the record number of inches to be received.

“Who doesn’t love getting hammered by eight inches?” said club regular Freako Suave, “In fact, I hope we get more! I’ll take all I can get, girl, yassss!”

In attempts to draw customers in during the icy temperatures, The Pony is offering a $5 drink special called the Slippery Snow Plow. “It’s vodka, curacao, coconut cream and a packet of Astro Glide,” said the bartender as he slapped his coworker wearing an assless snowsuit.

At press time, local lesbian bar The Wild Rose could be seen writing up a competitive Winter drink special called the “Pussy Luge,” which is Pinot Grigio with a kombucha float and a signed photo of St. Vincent.

Ash Strayer

Funny, in spite of ovaries.

Leave a Reply