In a breathtakingly disappointing feat of cultural synthesis, my boyfriend, on his way to buy me french fries at 10:45 in the evening, said confidently, “B. R. Bizzle” before hitching up his pants and meandering out the front door.
The event happened abruptly last week, after I had grown concerned about my boyfriend’s increasing interest in slam poetry and Snoop Dogg. This combination, though benign separately, has been known to increase amounts of slang appropriation among caucasian males.
“I don’t know, I guess he was trying to sound cool,” I told reporters through tears shortly after the incident. “Last week he called our cat the ‘mack catty,’ told me to ‘stop trippin, boo’ when I asked him to take off his Kangol hat, and he often uses the term “wack” during political debates.
But at least, when he returned with the fries, he redeemed himself by saying, “but it’s totally all right that we ate Wendy’s though because we’re supporting a woman-owned business.”
More as this story develops.