Teenagers Body-shaming Billie Eilish Test Positive For Oedipus Complex

After stepping outside without any sleeves on, the internet was set afire with body-shamers criticizing Billie’s Eilish‘s figure, calling it a “mid-30’s wine mom bod.”

In a truly Freudian slip-of-fate, medical results from the critics have just come back positive, indicating what we all suspected, a full blown case of Oedipus complex.

Does Billie Eilish’s perfectly normally shaped body give your body a certain reaction that maybe your emotional maturity isn’t equipped to handle yet? Did you need to write a not so nice tweet about it to make your pants feel better? Maybe you just need another juice box, and a little less screen time before nap naps.

Ash Strayer

Funny, in spite of ovaries.

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