Local

Pony Bar More Open Than Ever As Eight Inches Arrive In Seattle

The Pony is among the few Seattle bars on Capital Hill to remain open in spite of a prolific state-wide snow storm. Undeterred by the snowfall, Pony club goers actually seemed quite excited to about the record number of inches to be received. “Who doesn’t love getting hammered by eight inches?” said club regular Freako […]

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Search Continues For Woman Lost In Infinity Scarf

Karen Johnson has been missing since Tuesday morning and was last seen wearing a black, oversized infinity scarf. She was last heard saying, “Brr! It’s lookin’ chilly out there,” before she disappeared in the doorway of her Kirkland, Washington home. “Karen had been experimenting with infinity scarves for awhile now,” said her husband, Greg Johnson, […]

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Seattle Reinforces Toilets To Withstand Violent Coffee Shits

To ensure public safety, the City of Seattle has issued a public ordinance to mandate that all toilets be reinforced in order to withstand the violent coffee shits that have become a staple of the city’s coffee culture. Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan has declared a city-wide plumbing emergency after escalating instances of exploding porcelain toilets […]

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