News, Opinion, People

Teenagers Body-shaming Billie Eilish Test Positive For Oedipus Complex

After stepping outside without any sleeves on, the internet was set afire with body-shamers criticizing Billie’s Eilish‘s figure, calling it a “mid-30’s wine mom bod.” In a truly Freudian slip-of-fate, medical results from the critics have just come back positive, indicating what we all suspected, a full blown case of Oedipus complex. Does Billie Eilish’s […]

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News

Scam Alert: Door To Door Cryotherapy Really Just Snow-Swirlies

Seattle residents are warned to be on the look out for door to door salesmen roaming local neighborhoods swindling locals with a discount Cryotherapy scam. “It sounded like a great deal,” said Shirley De Santiago of White Center, “but when I paid them the $20 they told me to strip down to my skivvies and […]

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