Advice, Dating, Love, Opinion, People

Ask Ash – Advice from a Sub-Average Adult

Dear Anonymous, Isn’t this just Pandemic Problem #1 that I keep hearing about over and over again? You are not alone in this struggle girl, for real. Let’s break this thing WIDE OPEN! First of all, I feel you with the attraction vs. logistics conundrum. There is nothing worse than having your body telling you […]

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Opinion, People

You Might Be a Single Parent If…

1) You hang the Christmas decorations on top of the Halloween decorations 2) You call your neighbor the nanny 3) You eat the last cup of noodle in the bathtub, not just to hide it but also because it makes the water feel warmer and TO GET SOME GOD DAMN PEACE FOR ONE SECOND 4) […]

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News, Opinion, People

Teenagers Body-shaming Billie Eilish Test Positive For Oedipus Complex

After stepping outside without any sleeves on, the internet was set afire with body-shamers criticizing Billie’s Eilish‘s figure, calling it a “mid-30’s wine mom bod.” In a truly Freudian slip-of-fate, medical results from the critics have just come back positive, indicating what we all suspected, a full blown case of Oedipus complex. Does Billie Eilish’s […]

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People

I Lived It: My Boyfriend Said “B. R. Bizzle”

In a breathtakingly disappointing feat of cultural synthesis, my boyfriend, on his way to buy me french fries at 10:45 in the evening, said confidently, “B. R. Bizzle” before hitching up his pants and meandering out the front door. The event happened abruptly last week, after I had grown concerned about my boyfriend’s increasing interest […]

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People

Gynecologist Commits To Getting More Hands-On in 2019

As the new year begins, many people are making resolutions to ensure 2019 is their best year yet, and that’s no different for our local medical professionals. Doctor Heisenberg Gropenstein has been working as an OB-GYN for the last 26 years, but this year, he has committed to getting more hands-on in his day to […]

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